We have all been there, haven’t we? That seemingly prolonged phase in life where we suddenly feel as if we’ve been cast adrift, as if stranded on a small raft in the middle of the vast ocean of uncertainty.
Sometimes it happens at that meeting point of dreams and reality, where day-to-day living shatters the belief in potentials and possibilities; Sometimes it happens when a goal is unexpectedly reached and then the gut-wrenching feeling of ‘is that all there is?’
There are times in all our lives when there are conflicting wants, when there are too many demands on our time and it all becomes very confusing. We may think we have a picture of what we want but sometimes it feels so much safer to hold on to what we know.
This fear of the unknown, this Paralysis and the overwhelming feeling of being lost. Gently, gently does it.
The 6 Things To Do When You Feel Lost
Here are some simple steps that have helped me find my way and hopefully they might help you too.
Often when we are overwhelmed we naturally tense up, our muscles go in to ‘flight mode’ as we prepare to face an on-coming challenge. And as we keep trying to re-focus on the goal ahead we very often forget to breathe. By breathing, I don’t mean that simple involuntary breath your body takes to just keep going, but that really prolonged deep breath, perhaps even followed by a big sigh to let the stress out.
In taking that deep breath we can slowly come to terms with the stress that we face, which leads on to the next tip.
2. Let Go, Release the Fear
A lot of our stresses are caused very much by holding on to thoughts and beliefs that we have come to convince ourselves is true. While we believe that by focussing on the problem, turning it over and over in our minds, we are working at solving the problem at hand, often it is totally the opposite.
An easy way of letting go, is to ‘hand it over’. Whether you believe in God, the Universe or your Higher Self, consciously decide, ‘I can do no more with this. I hand it over to be taken care of and I know all will be well’.
Being able to ‘let go’ to give up and relinquish control of the outcome for a moment, will bring emotional relief in the first instance but surprising results soon follow.
3. Learn to Trust and Convince Yourself That All Will Be Well
This one takes practise, but much like affirmations, the more you repeat whatever it is that you want to believe, over time, you will convince yourself of its truth. The first few times you may find yourself, somewhat critical and cynical of this practise, but persist with it.
Start looking for examples, no matter how little, in your own day and your own time of how things are going well. Whether it is a perfectly brewed cup of coffee, a smile from a stranger or even something as normal as the sun shining in the sky – we often take for granted that our life experience really is a culmination of so many things going well. It is simply a matter of what we choose to focus on.
4. Believe in Yourself
At a time when the road seems to end, and there doesn’t seem to be any light in the tunnel, our initial reaction is to always look beyond ourselves, to look for options, advice and solutions outside of ourselves.
Turning inward, being gentle with yourself, seek time to simply be, to let go of the need for action or thought and simply ride the wave you are on, knowing that where you are is never permanent. Believe in yourself and your ability to first pull through from where you are and to soar to where you want to get to.
5. Practising Gratitude and Finding Appreciation
One of the simplest and quickest practises that have helped me move beyond where I stand, is to find and focus on the good in every day. When we are able to find things around us for which to be thankful and grateful, we also then continuously find more.
While it is a powerful state of mind to get in to, writing down, every morning or evening, a gratitude list, reinforces the practise and builds the habit. Over time, you may come to find that you naturally look for and appreciate all the best there is around you.
6. Seek Guidance or Meditate
If you have a close community of people, who you can rely on for positive support and trust, ask for help, share your worries but know that they should not tell you what to do, but instead help move you forward by asking the right questions to help you find your own answers.
The process of quietening your mind through meditation is often challenging when thoughts are rambling. If it is possible though to spend a little time every day in quiet, to simply focus on breathing or on music that relaxes and calms you, there is great likelihood that you will come away feeling better. (Read this post on options to meditate with ease)
Over to You
Being confused, wound up, facing uncertainty is not an unusual phase to go through although often a frustrating challenging time, it also really is a time for tremendous growth and experience. These six practices are just what I’ve found have helped me most, if you have other suggestions and ideas that have helped you, I’d love to hear more about them in the comments section below.